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Jewish community meets domestic violence head on
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October is Domestic Violence Month
By ARLENE FINE
Senior Staff Reporter
Does domestic abuse happen within the Jewish community?
You bet. Just ask “Dorit” (not her real name).
For eight years, Dorit was in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend, the father of her 5-1/2-year-old daughter. “He kept money, use of the car and a cell phone from me,” says the 39-year-old Israeli who followed her boyfriend to Cleveland several years ago.
“He even refused to provide day-care assistance for our child. Without access to these resources, I couldn’t work because I needed to be home with my daughter. However, he expected me to work and would order me to ‘find a way.’”
Dorit had to borrow money from friends when her daughter needed a winter coat.
The tipping point came last year. Her boyfriend became very upset after she returned home from a fundraiser one night. “He accused me of cheating on him and threw all my clothes out the window in front of my daughter,” she recalls. “He got close to my face, screaming at me and threatening that my ‘pretty face is not going to look pretty anymore.’”
The tipping point came last year. Her boyfriend became very upset after she returned home from a fundraiser one night. “He accused me of cheating on him and threw all my clothes out the window in front of my daughter,” she recalls. “He got close to my face, screaming at me and threatening that my ‘pretty face is not going to look pretty anymore.’”
Fearing for her life, Dorit called the police. Her next call was to Jewish Family Service Association’s (JFSA) Jennifer Roth, whose work she had learned about through a friend. Roth is JFSA’s Family Violence Services Know Abuse coordinator. “Jen went with me to the police station,” says Dorit. “With her advocacy, I got a protection order from the police.”
The next day, Dorit and her daughter moved in with a friend. “Although I felt secure, I also felt like a burden to my friend,” says Dorit. “I would have liked my own space, where I wasn’t in anyone’s way.”
It is precisely for abused Jewish women like Dorit and their children that the new Hebrew Shelter Home (HSH) was built. Since the $500,000 five-bedroom facility opened its doors at its East Side location last May, women in circumstances similar to Dorit’s have taken temporary residence there. Money for the facility came from The Centennial Initiative for Jewish Cleveland, a project of the Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland.
“After we closed our Taylor Road building, our initial estimate was to serve 16 women the first year in our new facility,” says Ginny Galili, HSH director. In less than six months, the new home has served eight women and five children. Half of them are victims of domestic violence; the rest are homeless.
“For those living on the brink, with the recent downturn in the economy, we expect an increase in foreclosures and homelessness throughout the Jewish community,” says Grant Dinner, HSH president. “HSH, in collaboration with other agencies, is well positioned to offer this population both shelter and other necessary supportive services during these times.”
In recent years, a strong partnership has developed between HSH and JFSA’s Family Violence Service. All the women and families who reside in the home must be screened and referred by JFSA case workers.
“There is a myth that the Jewish community is immune from domestic violence,” says JFSA’s Roth. “Of the 100 suburban clients we see each year, 15% are Jewish. Physical, emotional, financial, verbal, psychological, sexual and spiritual abuse happens at the same rate in the Jewish community as in the general community.”
There’s still a stigma and sense of shame about domestic abuse within Jewish homes, adds Roth. “We are sure that more battered Jewish women than we see need our services.”
Roth is confident the new location and amenities of the Hebrew Shelter Home will convince more abused Jewish woman and homeless families to access the facility. “Suburban women will feel right at home in the very comfortable, kosher, homelike environment,” says Roth. “Orthodox woman are not isolated from their community, and there is an ample, secured and monitored play area for children. A separate family suite at the rear of the house assures privacy for all residents.
To enable clients to feel more at home, the new HSH has a large, fully stocked kitchen and a washer and dryer. HSH personnel are on the premises at all times, and clients receive regular personal and employment counseling. They also can access the services of Cuyahoga Community College’s Women in Transition program.
A children’s indoor play area is adjacent to the family counseling room. Thanks to a grant from Jewish Women International, it is furnished with a children’s table, bookshelves, rocking chair, and stacks of new books. The Jewish Community Center also donated toys for the room and large muscle equipment for the outdoor play area.
All services provided to HSH clients, including room, board, counseling and transportation, are at no cost. HSH’s annual budget is $240,000. Since the home does not have an on-going revenue stream, it relies heavily on grants from private and public foundations and individual donations, explains Galili. “Our services are consistently at risk and depend upon our ability to raise funds from outside sources. That is why we are so grateful for recent grants from The Mt. Sinai Health Care Foundation and Federation.”
JFSA’s Family Violence Services’ referrals come mainly from friends, neighbors, rabbis, physicians, attorneys, school administrators and private therapists. “There is an agreement and collaboration within the Jewish community to support all our domestic violence efforts,” says Roth. “In Dorit’s case, we were able to provide her daughter with a scholarship to Agnon School and JCC summer camp. Their Judaism is an important aspect of this family’s life, and we were able to provide the necessary financial resources to allow them to be a participating part of our community.”
National Council of Jewish Women is also an active player in assisting Jewish victims of domestic violence. When Debbie Bloom assumed the NCJW presidency this year, she put domestic violence issues at the top of her agenda.
“NCJW is now developing a far-reaching partnership with the HSH and JFSA,” explains Bloom. “We will use our considerable manpower to communicate systemic issues of violence against women and develop improved community and policy responses.”
In September, NCJW volunteers, armed with $1,000 – from a $7,500 Saltzman Youth Panel Grant awarded to the home – shopped for diapers, formula, pacifiers, bottles, infant toys and feminine products to stock HSH shelves.
“Any Jewish mother with an infant or toddler who comes to the HSH in an emergency situation will have all the supplies she needs,” says Galili. “Some of these volunteers were so committed to this project they dipped into their own pockets to buy additional baby items for our clients.”
JFSA gives its domestic violence clients vouchers to shop at NCJW’s Thriftique. “The process of women and children actually going shopping, even at thrift stores, is an important part of empowering them to achieve their goals of abuse-free self-sufficiency,” explains Roth. NCJW also funded and helped start the home’s mother-and-child backyard garden.
“Today I am less depressed,” says Dorit. “Before, I could not see a way to achieve my dreams. Since I left my abusive boyfriend, I feel like all the doors are open for my daughter and me. I couldn’t have opened these doors without the help of the Family Violence Services at JFSA. There is no need to suffer or be in danger. Our Jewish community has the resources and desire to help victims like me and my daughter.”
afine@cjn.org
Family Violence Statistics
16-24: Ages at which young women in dating relationships experience the highest rate of domestic violence and sexual assault.
9 Seconds: How often a woman in the U.S. is battered by her husband, boyfriend or live-in partner.
3.3 Million: Number of children each year who witness their mothers or female caretakers being abused.
40%-60%: Percent of men abusive to women who also abuse children.
Up to 60%: Percent of all married women who will experience physical violence by their husbands at some time during their marriage.
30%: Percent of murdered women in this country who are murdered by their husband, boyfriend or partner.
$100 million: Money businesses forfeit in lost wages, productivity, sick leave and absenteeism due to domestic violence.
$3 - $5 Billion: Annual medical expenses resulting from domestic violence.
Contact Information:
Jewish Family Service Know Abuse: 216-292-3999
Hebrew Shelter Home: 216-401-9925
Jewish Women International: www.jwi.org or 202-857-1300
Domestic Violence Center Hotline 216-391-help (4357) www.domesticviolencecenter.org
You bet. Just ask “Dorit” (not her real name).
For eight years, Dorit was in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend, the father of her 5-1/2-year-old daughter. “He kept money, use of the car and a cell phone from me,” says the 39-year-old Israeli who followed her boyfriend to Cleveland several years ago.
“He even refused to provide day-care assistance for our child. Without access to these resources, I couldn’t work because I needed to be home with my daughter. However, he expected me to work and would order me to ‘find a way.’”
Dorit had to borrow money from friends when her daughter needed a winter coat.
The tipping point came last year. Her boyfriend became very upset after she returned home from a fundraiser one night. “He accused me of cheating on him and threw all my clothes out the window in front of my daughter,” she recalls. “He got close to my face, screaming at me and threatening that my ‘pretty face is not going to look pretty anymore.’”
The tipping point came last year. Her boyfriend became very upset after she returned home from a fundraiser one night. “He accused me of cheating on him and threw all my clothes out the window in front of my daughter,” she recalls. “He got close to my face, screaming at me and threatening that my ‘pretty face is not going to look pretty anymore.’”
Fearing for her life, Dorit called the police. Her next call was to Jewish Family Service Association’s (JFSA) Jennifer Roth, whose work she had learned about through a friend. Roth is JFSA’s Family Violence Services Know Abuse coordinator. “Jen went with me to the police station,” says Dorit. “With her advocacy, I got a protection order from the police.”
The next day, Dorit and her daughter moved in with a friend. “Although I felt secure, I also felt like a burden to my friend,” says Dorit. “I would have liked my own space, where I wasn’t in anyone’s way.”
It is precisely for abused Jewish women like Dorit and their children that the new Hebrew Shelter Home (HSH) was built. Since the $500,000 five-bedroom facility opened its doors at its East Side location last May, women in circumstances similar to Dorit’s have taken temporary residence there. Money for the facility came from The Centennial Initiative for Jewish Cleveland, a project of the Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland.
Fearing for her life, Dorit called the police … and then JFSA.
For many years the original HSH on Taylor Road had provided housing to meshulachim (Israeli charity solicitors) who traveled to Cleveland. But in recent years, that focus changed as a steadily increasing number of Jewish battered, abused and homeless women, representing all streams of Judaism, were referred to the HSH.“After we closed our Taylor Road building, our initial estimate was to serve 16 women the first year in our new facility,” says Ginny Galili, HSH director. In less than six months, the new home has served eight women and five children. Half of them are victims of domestic violence; the rest are homeless.
“For those living on the brink, with the recent downturn in the economy, we expect an increase in foreclosures and homelessness throughout the Jewish community,” says Grant Dinner, HSH president. “HSH, in collaboration with other agencies, is well positioned to offer this population both shelter and other necessary supportive services during these times.”
In recent years, a strong partnership has developed between HSH and JFSA’s Family Violence Service. All the women and families who reside in the home must be screened and referred by JFSA case workers.
“There is a myth that the Jewish community is immune from domestic violence,” says JFSA’s Roth. “Of the 100 suburban clients we see each year, 15% are Jewish. Physical, emotional, financial, verbal, psychological, sexual and spiritual abuse happens at the same rate in the Jewish community as in the general community.”
There’s still a stigma and sense of shame about domestic abuse within Jewish homes, adds Roth. “We are sure that more battered Jewish women than we see need our services.”
Roth is confident the new location and amenities of the Hebrew Shelter Home will convince more abused Jewish woman and homeless families to access the facility. “Suburban women will feel right at home in the very comfortable, kosher, homelike environment,” says Roth. “Orthodox woman are not isolated from their community, and there is an ample, secured and monitored play area for children. A separate family suite at the rear of the house assures privacy for all residents.
To enable clients to feel more at home, the new HSH has a large, fully stocked kitchen and a washer and dryer. HSH personnel are on the premises at all times, and clients receive regular personal and employment counseling. They also can access the services of Cuyahoga Community College’s Women in Transition program.
A children’s indoor play area is adjacent to the family counseling room. Thanks to a grant from Jewish Women International, it is furnished with a children’s table, bookshelves, rocking chair, and stacks of new books. The Jewish Community Center also donated toys for the room and large muscle equipment for the outdoor play area.
All services provided to HSH clients, including room, board, counseling and transportation, are at no cost. HSH’s annual budget is $240,000. Since the home does not have an on-going revenue stream, it relies heavily on grants from private and public foundations and individual donations, explains Galili. “Our services are consistently at risk and depend upon our ability to raise funds from outside sources. That is why we are so grateful for recent grants from The Mt. Sinai Health Care Foundation and Federation.”
JFSA’s Family Violence Services’ referrals come mainly from friends, neighbors, rabbis, physicians, attorneys, school administrators and private therapists. “There is an agreement and collaboration within the Jewish community to support all our domestic violence efforts,” says Roth. “In Dorit’s case, we were able to provide her daughter with a scholarship to Agnon School and JCC summer camp. Their Judaism is an important aspect of this family’s life, and we were able to provide the necessary financial resources to allow them to be a participating part of our community.”
National Council of Jewish Women is also an active player in assisting Jewish victims of domestic violence. When Debbie Bloom assumed the NCJW presidency this year, she put domestic violence issues at the top of her agenda.
“NCJW is now developing a far-reaching partnership with the HSH and JFSA,” explains Bloom. “We will use our considerable manpower to communicate systemic issues of violence against women and develop improved community and policy responses.”
In September, NCJW volunteers, armed with $1,000 – from a $7,500 Saltzman Youth Panel Grant awarded to the home – shopped for diapers, formula, pacifiers, bottles, infant toys and feminine products to stock HSH shelves.
“Any Jewish mother with an infant or toddler who comes to the HSH in an emergency situation will have all the supplies she needs,” says Galili. “Some of these volunteers were so committed to this project they dipped into their own pockets to buy additional baby items for our clients.”
JFSA gives its domestic violence clients vouchers to shop at NCJW’s Thriftique. “The process of women and children actually going shopping, even at thrift stores, is an important part of empowering them to achieve their goals of abuse-free self-sufficiency,” explains Roth. NCJW also funded and helped start the home’s mother-and-child backyard garden.
“Today I am less depressed,” says Dorit. “Before, I could not see a way to achieve my dreams. Since I left my abusive boyfriend, I feel like all the doors are open for my daughter and me. I couldn’t have opened these doors without the help of the Family Violence Services at JFSA. There is no need to suffer or be in danger. Our Jewish community has the resources and desire to help victims like me and my daughter.”
afine@cjn.org
Family Violence Statistics
16-24: Ages at which young women in dating relationships experience the highest rate of domestic violence and sexual assault.
9 Seconds: How often a woman in the U.S. is battered by her husband, boyfriend or live-in partner.
3.3 Million: Number of children each year who witness their mothers or female caretakers being abused.
40%-60%: Percent of men abusive to women who also abuse children.
Up to 60%: Percent of all married women who will experience physical violence by their husbands at some time during their marriage.
30%: Percent of murdered women in this country who are murdered by their husband, boyfriend or partner.
$100 million: Money businesses forfeit in lost wages, productivity, sick leave and absenteeism due to domestic violence.
$3 - $5 Billion: Annual medical expenses resulting from domestic violence.
Contact Information:
Jewish Family Service Know Abuse: 216-292-3999
Hebrew Shelter Home: 216-401-9925
Jewish Women International: www.jwi.org or 202-857-1300
Domestic Violence Center Hotline 216-391-help (4357) www.domesticviolencecenter.org
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