• “Without a kompiuter you can still send a blitspost (email) on your mobilke (mobile phone).”
• Two ways of saying laptop computer: “shoys-komputer” (a “computer for the lap”) or “shleptop.”
• “You can now buy a kosher computer (komputier) made in Israel called a dellshalom. The cursor moves from right to left. It comes with two hard drives-one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games). Instead of getting a “general protection fault” error, my PC now gets “Ferklempt.” The “start” button has been replaced with the “Let’s go. I’m not getting any younger” button. When spell check finds an error it prompts, “Is this the best you can do?” (bit.ly/3mFcizY)
• Found on a blog: “Duke University is diddling around with its computer system and for a complete komputier kalyiker (misfit) like me, that is a katastrophie.”
• After trying unsuccessfully to use my outdated laptop, my zayde told me, “Dir komputier iz ‘farsh-lepteh krenk’ (chronically sick).”
Shaker Heights resident Harold Ticktin prepares “Yiddish Vinkl” for the Cleveland Jewish News.